"Why Can't I Find Good Leaders?"

When building volunteer teams, leadership will be one of the key deciders in the growth and health of your volunteers.  But how many times have you wondered; “Why can’t I find people to lead?” The answer, actually the people, are usually right in front of us.

So the next question is: Have you looked? I mean, really looked? Beyond yourself.

Too many times when we hear “replace yourself” we take it so literally and look for someone just like us. You know, someone with our same experience, our energy, our passion, our skills, our speaking skills, our brilliant hand-jive moves…well, you get the picture.

I would even say that the biggest roadblock or barrier to finding leaders is you and me. If we could only get out of the way, we would see that future leaders are serving right beside us, hanging out with us at the front door or getting coffee together on break. I know I’ve overlooked many amazing people and it cost both my own health (physical, mental, and spiritually) and the volunteers serving.

Remember what Jethro said to Moses…”this thing you are doing is not good. You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you..” (Exodus 18:17-18).

In one day, I got pink-eye in both eyes and shingles! I also noticed folks were not very happy around me either.

Here is what I learned.

We assume:

That they know they are leaders. 
Most of the time, when I approach someone to start the conversation about leadership, I hear: “Who me?!” “Why me?” or “Oh no, I could never be a leader.” And yet they display the gifts, character traits, skills and passion that say to others, “Follow Me!” If we are truly connecting with people, listening to what’s going in their lives, we can discover hidden gems. Sure, they may be leaders in the world of business or organizations, but for some reason, they do not always translate their skills or value into the world of church leadership. I’ve even had a brain cancer scientist dismiss his ability to be a leader. It’s our job to speak truth and encouragement into their life.

That they know they have permission to lead or take on responsibilities. 
If they are leaders, they should just “do it”. But many times, volunteers don’t know IF they should go beyond the to-do list because the vision has not been clearly communicated, celebrated and even more precisely, they don’t even know what the thing they could be doing is! It may be obvious to us; those of us who work and live and breathe our ministry 24/7, but the permission and vision has never been given specifically to someone. It takes more than a wholesale “let’s go get um” rally, it’s a one-on-one conversation. Can you say “shoulder-tap”?

That they are not qualified to do as much or good a job as us.
Qualified? Really? Boy, the definition of leadership in the church needs an overhaul!  We have been conditioned to believe, been taught or have had modeled as to what a leader should look like. Yet, this may or may not always be the best or most obvious answer. The bible is full of never-would-have-picked-that-one for leaders. We should seek out, with discernment and wisdom, some of the unlikely people that have already said “yes” to serving with you to develop, grow and encourage to become the best they were created to be.

And NOT just to fill a role, but here’s a crazy idea – because people matter.

Here is the bonus.  You get to play a part in someone discovering their greatest gifts because you offered an opportunity that expanded their life and those around them.

It’s simply smart to not rely solely on our own filters, experiences or preconceived ideas to be the only indicator for deciding leadership potential. Get more input!!! Spend time with potential leaders – seek to understand first.

And, if your first go-to includes the word “too” when dismissing a candidate, like:

• They are too young or too old.

• They are too new to step up now.

• They are too set in their ways to lead.

Stop and consider beyond the "too" and dig in to what is really the barrier to leadership. 

Perhaps, no one has spent time training them.

Perhaps no one has asked their opinion on anything.

Perhaps, they are in the wrong role and it’s time to regroup or get creative to provide new opportunities.

Of course, there is no one size fits all program or process.

People are messy. I am messy. But we are all worth. And, there are levels and steps where everyone can play a significant role.

It’s our responsibility and great joy to help another person figure it out!

Why not celebrate with your volunteers?

While many church volunteers are still missing from serving, there are people who continue to show up. But what do you if they are more about just checking the box, doing the bare minimum, and then going home? Or, at worse, worn out and checked out.

Let’s face it. Life is just plain hard these days and everyone is exhausted. The fact that people are showing up should be celebrated!

I know that time and money are tight and, for now, all the balloons, cake, and the dreaded confetti needs to be on hold for another time. I believe you can still have fun and celebrate every time a volunteer shows up.

And I have an easy solution for you! PIPE CLEANERS!

That’s right. They are super cheap. I found these (see pic) at Target, 350 pipe cleaners for only $5.00.

Now, what to do with these? Well, I’m glad you asked. I have a few ideas below but the main thing to remember is that whenever you are holding or passing them out, you simply must hold them splayed out like a bunch of flowers.

1. Use in Huddles to cast vision to be flexible. Invite each volunteer to pick ONE. Watch as they carefully chose the right color. Have fun with it. Ask, “Are you sure?” “Is this your final answer?” Share: Flexibility means the ability to be easily modified and the willingness to change or compromise. First, thank you all for showing up and demonstrating flexibility as we’ve had to modify our Sundays. Is there a place that, maybe, you have not served in but could lend a hand today? Is there an area where you have avoided serving but maybe today is an opportunity? Maybe you only talk to people you know really well. What if you approached or talked to people you don’t know? So, let’s wear them today to celebrate your service and be challenged with what we each can do to be more flexible. You can put them on your belt loop, on your wrist, or be creative!

2. Use in the children’s area after church to hand out. But even better. During special times of the year - or even now to kick off Back To School - our Ushers would hold them like flowers to give to kids in the worship center. Here is the thing, the kids would come running to the Ushers and beg for one. Our response: “Great! If you go and show me where you are sitting, I will bring one to you!” This did two things:

   1. It was a simple way for our Ushers to get comfortable with engaging with our guests before the service began.

   2. We were able to meet and engage the parents, and guardians of the kids.

Don’t forget the power of play to connect and encourage your volunteers to connect and encourage your guests.

I Trust You

I Trust You - The 3 Most Empowering Words Leaders Need To Embrace

“I trust you.” is up there at the tippy-top of the best 3 words to say:

Of course there’s:

I am sorry. 

I forgive you. 

You are enough.

I love you.

But, as for the words a leader should say to their team, their volunteers or to other leaders, I TRUST YOU can be the most powerful words.

When it comes to picking up the ball, after it’s been lying flat on the ground, deflated and covered with mud, and running toward the “finish line”...again, hearing “I trust you.” motivates me to continue the hard or even mundane work with vigor and excitement!

But in coaching leaders, this can be a difficult phrase to say because means you are relinquishing control.

And yet, we can get frustrated or confused when the people we are leading seem to only do the bare minimum. As I coach leaders through their exhaustion, nearing or even smack in the middle of burning-out, I hear (a lot) “I’m just the one that everyone always come to. They rely on me for everything!”

So let’s turn this around a moment. When YOU hear the words, “I trust you”, how does that make you feel? What are you really hearing?

I don’t know about you, but here is what I hear:

• I will have your back, even if you make a mistake, because I know you have the mission, the area, the post, the assignment, the job as your top priority.

• I know that you would never intentionally cause harm.

• I know that you only what what we want as a team, as a ministry.

• I know that you have been gifted to accomplish the role you are in.

• I know that you will use your experience and ideas to create even better experiences and ideas.

• I believe in you.

• I am not the only one who can or should do “all the things” around here.

Four people spoke these words into my life that impacted my purpose, my role and my responsibilities. In fact, those words elevated my desire to honor the assignment, situation at hand and provided the confidence, when I was doubting.

When trust is handed out, we have choices. We can abuse that trust or we can honor that trust. Perhaps the resistance is that we worry that someone may abuse or misuse that trust.

If you have done your homework - meaning; you have equipped your people and you know your people. You have had meaningful conversations with your people and you are not relying solely on an application, then letting go and providing opportunities for people to fly will free you to do the things that only you can do!

Four people; my Dad, my boss, early in my career in corporate banking, my Pastor and my client. Their trust resonates with me, even today. . 

My Dad

I’ll save you the book for later and simply say, my Dad is my first love and my forever hero. He left Kentucky to join the Marine Corp because life was excruciating difficult for a poor family of 16. He taught Drill Instructor School at Parris Island, S.C. but he was ALL HEART. 

When our high school’s Annual Senior Weekend rolled around, my Mom was frantic with worry. Living near the beach, the entire class rents hotel rooms/houses from Friday - Sunday. But Dad said: “We’ve taught her everything we can. She will either choose to honor our trust or not. And it doesn’t matter if she is at home or at the beach.” Then he looked at me and said; “I trust you.” 

My Boss

I was a twenty-something in Atlanta, GA, working at a bank and just promoted with a portfolio of clients to manage in the apparel/shoe industry and all my clients were based in New York City.

I flew to NYC for an important and potentially contentious client meeting - AND this was my first solo NYC trip. I was in my twenties and from a small town in North Carolina.

When I arrived, they refused let me in!!!!

But I was on a mission and I was not leaving without a meeting. Finally, I was told to sit at the front of the building and just wait. (The last time I visited, I was with my boss, Mike, we were warmly greeted and immediately brought to the owners office.)

Finally, I was handed a phone (y’all, this was pre-cell phone days) with Mike on the other end.

I asked; “What’s happening? They won’t see me!”

Mike explained that he knew they would try to bully, ignore or dismiss me without having to provide me with information and check I was there to get. The owner called Mike to pitch a fit. But Mike said to him, “Mary Ann is there representing our bank and is due all respect.”

Then Mike said to me; “You’ve got this. I trust you.” 

My Pastor

I didn’t grow up in church but was raised Buddhist. Without any church context, my “go-to” in doing ministry was from a place of excellence in the business world. Add sacrificial serving and radical, fun hospitality from a place of gratitude for Jesus.

Nonetheless, I made many mistakes. But we grew like crazy as a church, as well as a ministry I was leading to over 1,000 volunteers just in the Guest Services Ministry.

One Sunday, a young woman, who worked at another church, came to shadow me. She was amazing! She was smart, creative and had all the energy to transform her ministry to one that her Pastor wanted to change.

In fact, HE was the one that sent her to me. When she tried to implement some new, simple ideas, he undermined them all and said to keep everything “as is.”

She was heartbroken and discouraged. So was I - for her and the ministry.

I shared this with my Pastor to thank him for allowing me the freedom to try new ideas. And even though I had my share of bloopers and straight out bombs, he looked at me and said; “Don’t worry about it, I trust you.” 

My Client

Recently, a client that I worked with in 2019 for 5 months, contacted me. He invited me into their Volunteer Leadership meeting to help brainstorm ideas for hospitality in this new Covid-era. He sent me the Zoom link and goals of the meeting and then ended with, “But you do or say what you think we need. I trust you.”  

So….

Is this how it must have felt to the eleven disciples when Jesus said to them “go and make disciples…” (Matthew 28:19) 

Imagine having the son of Man, God in the flesh, Christ Jesus release what we call “The Great Comission” to mere humans? 

He is trusting us to carry on the critical message of the gospel. 

As a leader in your ministry, are you trusting, releasing control to those who are also entrusted with the message of Jesus?